BETTER SEX: How to do anal sex

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BETTER SEX: How to do anal sex



Updated on June 17, 2024

Medically verified by Dr. Arya

Fact checked by Dr. Sharon

anal sexing


7 min read

Regardless of sexual orientation, many people — straight, gay, or bisexual — find anal intercourse to be enjoyable. Others find it to be unappealing.

Anal intercourse scares many people for two major reasons: the pain of penetration and the dread of faeces. Contrary to popular belief, anal intercourse may cause strong orgasms in both men and women when performed properly.

Regardless of the situation, safety must always come first when introducing anal sex into your arsenal of sexual pleasures. Aside from ensuring everyone's health, the nice thing about it is that you may be safe without compromising enjoyment.

You should be aware that compared to other forms of intercourse, anal sex exposes you to a larger risk of contracting STIs. Both you and your partner will be safeguarded by proper condom use.

This guide will help you to understand how to do anal sex, the safest way, without compromising on the pleasure.

What is Anal Sex?
A penis, a sex toy, or fingers entering the anus is referred to as anal sex. Oral-anal sex, often known as "rimming," occurs when someone stimulates the anus with their tongue. Any person, regardless of sexual orientation, may enjoy anal intercourse.

Anal sex: How do you do it?

It may feel weird at first when you explore the anal region, so you have to go gently.

Caressing and stroking the anus helps relieve tension if you decide to try piercing (into) it. This is critical because for comfortable penetration, the sphincter, a muscle in the anus, has to relax.

Consider using a lot of water-based lube, and begin by lightly entering. Pull away entirely after that. Once your partner is ready, push in a little bit further before pulling back out. In order to enter, keep doing this. When your spouse speaks, pay attention to them and be prepared to stop at any time if they start to feel pain or discomfort.

Both the individual providing and receiving anal sex can enjoy the positive effects, but it can also take some time to reach that point. Be patient because your first encounter might not be flawless.

Use a condom or any type of barrier

The risk of STIs is significantly reduced by using a barrier, such as a condom, finger cot, dental dam, or another technique.

When going from anal to vaginal or oral activity, just be sure to employ a different barrier. The same holds true when changing partners!

Lube up

The thicker viscosity of silicone lube is frequently chosen when choosing lubrication for anal, although water-based lubes, or a combination of the two, also function. Both may be used safely with latex barriers and condoms.

Keep in mind when choosing that silicone-containing lubes have the potential to damage silicone sex toys. Oil-based lubes are excellent for anal usage, but they shouldn't be used with condoms.

You can choose from five types of lubricants, for anal play.

1. Water-based lubricants: These are a wonderful choice for novices. However, they can dry out, so be prepared to reapply. They are safe with condoms and toys.

2. Silicone-Based Lubes: Excellent for anal and extremely long-lasting. Just keep silicone toys away from them.

3. Oil-Based Lubes: Luxurious feeling, but not suitable for condoms made of latex. Cleaning up might be difficult.

4. Hybrid Lubes: A silicone and water mixture that combines the greatest qualities of both. Safe with the best defences and toys.

5. Specialised Anal Lubes: Extra-comfortable thicker formulations. Look for those with the designations "anal" or "for anal play."

Always use high-quality lubricant, take allergies into account, practise good hygiene, and pick one that works with your protection or toys.

Try on your own

It is beneficial to explore what anal feeling feels like in the first place. If you're new to anal sex, this is extremely helpful.

You can begin your exploration with a finger that has been lubricated by massaging the region surrounding your anus, testing with pressure, and inserting one or more fingers within. Your anal muscle, or sphincter, will be movable, and you may try relaxing, contracting, and enjoying it.

The Game Position

Doggie style is a mainstay of anal intercourse, particularly during paired action. It’s the go to position for any anal play.

Another well-liked posture is reverse missionary, while conventional missionary is also an option. Adjust the point of entrance by using a cushion or wedge.

Slow down

Allow yourself enough time to become sufficiently aroused so that you can unwind your stiff muscles and get ready to play.

To speed up things, you can:

Masturbate, either alone or with a companion

Use your favourite non-penetrative techniques, such as dry humping

In a hot shower or bath, give your erogenous areas some soapy attention.

To make the anus desire more, touch the outside area with a finger, a toy, or your tongue.


Excellent communication with your partner is essential to learning how to have satisfying anal sex. By the way, much of this contact will be one-way.

You must feel at ease with the thought of informing your partner: To slow down, to gently withdraw or to stop.

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Pain should not be an option

Many claim that having anal intercourse hurts. Your anus is firmly closed by a ring of muscle known as the sphincter. This muscle cannot be instantly relaxed and contracted in a split second.

It instead takes a long time for it to calm down and let things move through it. Imagine it as an extremely powerful yet slowly contracting muscle.

It won't have enough time to relax if you try to fast move something through it when it's closed, and this will hurt a lot.

It's critical to stop immediately if anything hurts and to express your feelings to your partner; sexual activity that is uncomfortable or painful should be stopped.

Anal sexual activity is not for everyone. Anyone who doesn't like it shouldn't feel ashamed about it or have to push themselves to.

However, many people do find anal sex enjoyable and believe it to be entirely natural. Unprotected anal intercourse, like unprotected vaginal intercourse, has a significant risk of contracting several STDs, including gonorrhoea, HIV, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, HPV, and hepatitis. In order to reduce the risk of STIs during anal intercourse, use barrier methods like condoms.

Cleanliness Matters

When going from anal to other areas of intercourse, always cleanse your fingers, penis, or sex toys. Use a fresh external condom whenever you switch from anal to vaginal or oral intercourse if you are using one. This is crucial so that when you go from one place to another, you don't transfer anus germs to the mouth or the vagina.

While it is highly uncommon that you may defecate during anal intercourse, it is nonetheless a possible side effect. There are certain steps you may do to attempt to stop it from happening again if it exceeds your comfort level:

Poop before sex: If at all feasible, attempt to go to the bathroom a few hours before when you want to have sex. This can help relieve both the physical strain on your rectum and the psychological tension caused by the potential for faeces during sex.

Try an enema: A few hours prior to having sex, try using a gentle enema to clear out your rectum.

Maintain a healthy diet: Eating well is a terrific way to start maintaining a clean, healthy rectum.

Tidy Up

Before anal intercourse, some people wipe their anus to make sure there is no faeces. If you do this, be extremely delicate and simply use water or a light soap. Otherwise, you risk tearing or scratching the anus, which increases your risk of contracting STIs.

Understanding the Risks

There are certain hazards linked to anal sex, just like with any sexual activity. Let's examine a few of them:

There Is Still A Risk Of STIs

The anal cavity's lining is delicate and prone to harm.

Due to this injury, germs may seep into your penis and cause a STI.

Anal fissures are possible

Anal fissures are tiny, painful, and sometimes bloody rips in the skin surrounding your anus.

Applying lubrication and moving carefully might lessen your risk of developing anal fissures.

Could make existing haemorrhoids worse

You should be aware that anal intercourse may exacerbate haemorrhoids if you have them.

Key Takeaways

Safety first! Remember, consent and protection are your BFFs.

Anal sex exposes you to a higher risk of STIs, so wrap it up with a condom or some other barrier method.

Anal sex, in a nutshell, is any form of penetration involving the anus. Tongue action down there is called "rimming," just FYI.

Take it slow. Your backdoor might need a gentle introduction. Relax those sphincter muscles for a smoother entry.

Lube it up, you can't use too much. Water-based, silicone, or hybrid lubes - take your pick.

Five lubes, five choices: Water-based for beginners, silicone for the slick pros, oil-based for the luxury seekers, hybrid for the best of both worlds, and specialised anal lubes for the extra comfort seekers.

Explore solo first! Get comfy with your own behind before inviting company. It's like a "getting to know you" session.

Doggy style is the classic go-to position for anal action. Reverse missionary and regular missionary work too, just use cushions to adjust your angle of entry.

Slow and steady wins the race. Get aroused, relax those muscles, and take your time. Masturbation or other non-penetrative fun can help set the mood.

Communicate! Let your partner know if you need to slow down, pull out, or stop altogether.

Pain is not on the menu! The anal sphincter is a slow mover, so rushing things can lead to pain. If it hurts, stop. Seriously, don't be a hero.

Anal sex isn't for everyone, and that's okay! No need to push yourself into something you're not into. Consent and comfort are king.

Hygiene matters, but be gentle when cleaning up. No one wants a scratched-up rear.

Remember, there's a higher risk of STIs, potential anal fissures, and, if you've got haemorrhoids, they might not be happy campers.

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